It is so easy to give up on New Year’s Resolutions sometimes. Here we are, it is only January 11th, and I’ve gone days without writing in my ‘thankful journal’, and I’ve gone days without reading through my daily devotional. Suffering from a loss can be a solid reason as to why I’ve ditched my New Year’s Resolutions.
Saturday, my boyfriend and I had to put our beloved dog down. We never know the impact our pets have on our lives until they are no longer with us. We only had Reggie for a little more than a year, but it seems as if we can’t even begin to remember what life was like before him. He was so full of joy and energy, and he always knew when we were feeling down in the dumps because it seemed as if that’s when he was trying to be the silliest and the most lovable.
It is amazing how smart a dog can be. When my love-bug broke his wrist, Reggie wanted nothing more than to hug him because he knew his human dad was hurt. When Reggie was suffering so badly, we wanted nothing more than to take the pain away. We felt completely helpless. It still hurts a lot because no one should have to decide to put down a family member. I can’t help but wonder if we made the best decision, but it is something we will never know. When a vet doesn’t find the problem, but the sweet fur-baby is in so much pain….you do what you feel is best for the dog. Yeah, if we had a bountiful, money tree and could afford exploratory surgeries, pain medication, etc., it would have made sense to give it a try. However, we are struggling to make ends meet as it is.
So, needless to say, since Saturday, it has been quite difficult for us. We both ended up sick on Monday, and I know the loss of our beloved dog had a lot to do with it and made us vulnerable to anything that was going around. As the days go by, we are being able to cope more and more, but we miss him tremendously. I returned to school yesterday, and almost broke down when a student came up to me, hugged me, gave me a card, and told me that she was sorry for my loss.
The thoughtfulness behind this card was overwhelming. As with any teaching profession, there are lots of students out there that despise their teachers, but it is so rewarding when you know the ones that truly love and care for you. That alone made me cry.
So, now we move on with life filled with memories of our sweet Reggie. I’ve slacked on some of my New Year’s Resolutions since Saturday because I felt I didn’t have anything to be thankful for. So, how could I journal about being thankful everyday? I also felt as if God had turned on us by taking away our beloved Reggie, and it caused me not to want to read any daily devotionals. Let’s face it, I was angry with God for a few days. However, I know that Reggie’s death wasn’t God’s way of punishing us. So, I am doing my best to get back on the Resolution Horse, and get myself into gear. I know Reggie is now pain free and in doggie heaven licking every single dog and person he encounters. One thing we can learn from Reggie is that there is absolutely no reason to dislike anyone. It doesn’t matter if they are a stranger, family, or friend…..live life with a heart full of love. We miss you, Reggie. You will never be forgotten. We were blessed to have a year full of wonderful memories with such a loving fur-ball. We love you.